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Wednesday, October 31, 2001
IN my humble opinion, this is where it gets rough.
The slow burn of life is hard on me. There is no fresh start. I'm not here to talk about how I just moved home. Its been two years. I'm not really interested in talking about the past. We've all moved on. All those transitions are over. Now its all about consistency and following through. My much discussed hairy years angst is stronger than ever. Bring it on.
posted by michael at 8:16 AM |
Tuesday, October 30, 2001
THIS is one of those nights where I feel riled up. Yet another situation. Seems God isn’t satisfied with my current pace of growth. The result is that I'm tired but can't sleep. Good thing I have good friends to depend on. Let me say that I have the best friends in the world. I am convinced that part of life is surrounding yourself with the coolest, wisest, and sexiest all around great people you can possibly find. Try it. They make you better than you actually are.
Unrelated, my parents have been on my mind a lot. The other night, my Mom asked me to go line dancing with her. We have been getting along so well that I decided I might as well go. We went to this Chinese dance hall. I swear, it was straight out of Shall we dance?. By the way, that is another movie to watch with parents. It is quite the universal crowd pleaser. Anyway, I was lucky in that line dancing for the night was cancelled. They only had Tango lessons, so we went home. I not only got home earlier than anticipated, but also had good car conversations with the Mom.
posted by michael at 12:00 AM |
Monday, October 29, 2001
TIME to put the flying mess to rest. Having your grandparents set you up on a date is hilarious. Both respective grannies were so enthusiastic that I really had no choice. Besides, it made for good blogs right? Yes and no.
Not looking for someone new, my only hope was to make the family look good. We had two family dinners, but I could never get a good read on 'L'. There was a lot of pressure for us to meet w/o family, so L and I went to Tontenko with her cousin, and... boyfriend. Yes, the sad truth is that L has a boyfriend. They have been going out for three years. THREE YEARS!
During dinner, we were finally able to lay all our cards on the table. Everyone was cool and we had some good laughs. "What? You didn't read my profile? It has my expected earnings for the next ten years. It also has my genetic code so we can predict the kind of children we will spawn." At the same time, I couldn't feel worse for L and her man. This whole thing couldn't have been easy for them. Interestingly enough, my parents said they understood her family's perspective... that is, until I told them he was in law school. "That's not bad! What's the problem?"
posted by michael at 7:18 AM |
Sunday, October 28, 2001
TRIED to teach the well behaved fifth and sixth graders a traditional Cambodian dance today. It worked better than it did yesterday (with the first and second graders), but doing this sort of thing just encourages chaos.
I had such a relaxing day. Read weblogs, did laundry, watched sports, researched my fantasy team, finished off a family duty and headed to church. Not bad. Oh! I got my haircut! 
My barber didn't really do what I envisioned, but it's a solid cut. Nothing went horribly wrong. Besides, I'll get another chance to be more or less adventurous in around three weeks.
posted by michael at 12:49 AM |
Saturday, October 27, 2001
CHILDREN'S conference turned out really well. The first and second graders are so adorable. Nathan and Cindy (Ligh) have a good repoire with them, which makes everything much easier. During Nathan's slide show of China, the kids would shout out whatever they saw. "Nathan!" "Nathan!" .... "People!" It was hilarious.
I am such the nonshopper. What kind of guy doesn't know his way around Best Buy? Good thing Cindy (not Ligh) was there to keep me from being completely confused. I did come home with two new CDs though.
Julie posted a ton of pictures from last years Koinonia men's appreciation. Here is a sample. 
I'm more than a little embarrassed.
posted by michael at 1:49 AM |
Friday, October 26, 2001
NO time to post, but I wanted to get something down quickly. I'm sitting in the church office making last minute preparations for Children's Missions Conference. Last night, Rob, Ted and I went to see Orbital perform at the Palace. It was pretty good considering the fact that trance-techno isn't my favorite type of music. I was particularily into their great visuals! So I was a bit bummed about the song about 'satan' and yes I know its meant in jest, but I couldn't bring myself to dance to it. Anyway, the highlight was a mix of Bon Jovi, and Belinda Carlise with my personal favorite, 'Halcyon and on and On'.
posted by michael at 5:11 PM |
Thursday, October 25, 2001
COMMENT confusion. I think I know what happened. Try to 'refresh' the page and see if you can write comments on this post.
posted by michael at 7:11 AM |
Wednesday, October 24, 2001
PEOPLE in boston know how to party! My brother just posted some pictures from his joint anime birthday party with Sue Han. If I could have gone, I would have bought a wig and dressed up as Spike from Cowboy Bebop. Hm.... maybe its a good think I am stuck here in LA.
posted by michael at 3:09 PM |
Tuesday, October 23, 2001
I'M always wrong. Sometimes I don't feel like saying anything because I know I'll eventually take it back. This time, I do it with pride.
Matt may have left, but the family remains. I'm sitting at the dinner table. My parents are talking about... God? My Mom is sharing what she learned from BSF ( Bible Study Fellowship)? Its more than just the topic of religion. Both parents have this good thing going. It’s growing faith. It’s active steps towards Christ. The whole vibe is so NOT dysfunctional. What the hell is going on? I thought only the kids in this family did this sort of thing. No one around here is perfect, but this is beyond incredible. This is a miracle. Obviously I have entered some sort of bizarro universe. Wherever I am, don't take me back. I'm home.
posted by michael at 12:00 AM |
Monday, October 22, 2001
FOR some reason, the Cham household becomes a family when Matthew shows up. I don't mean to give the impression that we are cold and unhappy when he isn't around, but sheesh, we transform into some sort of chinese, suburban, Little House on the Praire. Ridiculous and wonderful. Oh, and it doesn't hurt to have a special occasion for sushi either.
"Everything's not lost"
Damn straight.
posted by michael at 10:37 AM |
Sunday, October 21, 2001
ON the way home. Listening to the usual, and not feeling too good ... Don’t Panic
Bones, sinking like stones,
All that we fought for,
Homes, places we've grown,
All of us are done for.
And we live in a beautiful world,
Yeah we do, yeah we do,
We live in a beautiful world,
And we live in a beautiful world,
Yeah we do, yeah we do,
We live in a beautiful world.
Oh, all that I know,
There's nothing here to run from,
'Cause everybody here's got somebody to lean on. Yeah. I do. Yeah I do.
posted by michael at 12:00 AM |
Saturday, October 20, 2001
KEVIN and I got hired around the same time. He is a good guy, probably one of our best planners too. We don't catch up often since he is downtown and I am in the valley... KK: I hear they rotated you.
MC: Yeah, Mulholland. grin
KK: Groan Oh man. I'm sorry.
MC: Well, you know. Its a challenge, but it can still be a positive.
KK: Right. It shows a lot of confidence blah blah
MC: I agree. blah blah
KK: Whats going on with you and the promotional list?
MC: I'm dead in the water. blah blah paying my dues blah blah
KK: It still sucks.
MC: Yeah.
KK: Yeah.
MC: ...
KK: Hey, how's your girlfriend? She still in boston?
MC: ... It was pretty funny. I kept thinking, "He must think that my life is pretty horrible. Its not that bad. Things are good."
Later that night, I got in my car to head home. That joke wasn't funny anymore.
posted by michael at 12:34 AM |
Friday, October 19, 2001
PITY parties are not fun for any who attend. However unfortunate, I think I'll still indulge myself a bit and allow for a 24 hour window of feeling horrible. I promise to do my best and suck it up after that. I've got to get on with it, I only have 12 precious hours left.
posted by michael at 7:54 AM |
Thursday, October 18, 2001
DREAMS of deleted text. I know they still exist. Somewhere, there is a long list of Blogs that were born only to be deleted. That's where you will find emails written and never sent, comments made but then reconsidered. Every erased phrase, rephrase, and spell check we have ever made. This is where all that is unsaid, and best left that way, goes to rest. Inappropriate declarations of love, ideas that are obviously idiotic, angry accusations that have no bearing on truth, everything and anything you can imagine fills this haunted landscape. Mountains and mountains of the stuff, for as far as the eye can see.
posted by michael at 3:05 AM |
Wednesday, October 17, 2001
(This blog is dedicated to Yang Sze, who got me thinking along these lines.)
ANOTHER transition in the hairy years has been with them. Being home for the past two years, I think I've seen the relationship take on a different vein. I can't explain it right. I'm going to try but know that it isn't sufficient.
I find that I almost humor them on some level. I don't mean to sound condescending. In a way, I am forcing myself to respect and listen to them. Maybe I am beginning to see my responsibility in the dynamic. All of a sudden I feel like I actually have a choice, and that has made all the difference.
posted by michael at 12:19 AM |
Tuesday, October 16, 2001
SHE was coming over to watch a video. I could hardly remember the last time I used the VCR, so I checked to see if everything still worked. If it didn't, I would have been screwed. My electrical IQ is so low, I probably wouldn't be able to fix it before she arrived. Then there would be performance anxiety issues. Yes, I'm a disgrace to male competency.
I glanced at our library for a tester. Wallace and Gromit? Good Fellas? Oh! The 2000 Lakers championship video!
Wow, that really brought me back. First, there was that incredible rally against the Blazers. And the finals! Remember how Kobe sprained his ankle in game two? Shaq led the team to victory. Then the big guy fouled out in overtime of game 4 and Kobe dominated in isolation. Ah, it was so glorious. How did the Zen master manipulate it such that each star would get a chance to shine? Phil doesn't even have any hair to gracefully tuck behind his ear.
posted by michael at 7:34 AM |
Monday, October 15, 2001
DREAMS demand sacrifice, patience and a little divine intervention. What was once a world of ever expanding possibilities, now feels like a constant narrowing of options. All that potential needs to give way to something tangible, even if it isn't very pretty.
Don't think that I want to grow up. I don't. I'm just afraid to one day discover that I never did. There is a difference.
posted by michael at 2:26 AM |
Sunday, October 14, 2001
THERE is reason to be defiantly hopeful. I refuse to let this be dismissed as youthful optimism. Really. I swear. Something's got to give...
posted by michael at 9:11 AM |
Saturday, October 13, 2001
YEAH! Rob and I saw Mulholland Drive. Yes, such vintage Lynch. I wanted to applaud when the 'little man' made his appearance. I've been trying to figure out what to say about the movie, but I can't even bring myself to recommend it. Don't get me wrong. I just worry because the movie isn't about understanding what's going on. Instead, the focus is how it makes you feel.
Whatever the case, I'm going to watch it again.
posted by michael at 6:34 PM |
Friday, October 12, 2001
LATELY, my sushi cravings have been particularily strong on Fridays. I miss Kayo's salmon. I want to see a movie now too. Speaking of which, the city planner I'm replacing told me that David Lynch lives on Mulholland (big surprise). Maybe I'll get to see his place during a field visit.
I better get back to work.
posted by michael at 10:44 AM |
Thursday, October 11, 2001
OBVIOUSLY, pop culture is going to milk the success of Crouching Tiger, but am I the only one a bit uncomfortable with the title " Iron Monkey"? The movie looks fine, and yeah there is cultural significance, but I dunno...
Anyways, here are the last Giant Photos. (3) dance floor and light show early in the evening
(4) this girl's hair kept whacking me in the face
(5) yet another view of the floor, this time from the tech guy's point of view
posted by michael at 8:10 AM |
Wednesday, October 10, 2001
CLUB Giant was fun, but a bit too thump thump thump for my melodic tastes. I was impressed with the simple, stylish, and clean vibe (especially the leather sofa chairs). The entire package was rather expensive ($20 cover), but still well worth a first time visit. Rob let me borrow his digital camera while he boogied down, but I ended up with only a few photos.
(1) silhouette watching light show, dance floor
(2) 25 foot tall (?) blow up doll
posted by michael at 7:47 AM |
Tuesday, October 09, 2001
Penance, n
1. a sacrament of the Roman Catholic Church involving the confession of sin, repentance, and submission to penalties imposed, followed by absolution by a priest.
2. any voluntary suffering or punishment to show repentance for a sin or wrong doing.
AN expert on these matters I'm not. I do know that I am already clean. The price has been paid. But coupled with forgiveness, I sincerely want to do something. I want to turn, to work, even if it is symbolic. My self-imposed discipline is nothing compared to what I deserve, but actually just helps me lose that horrible feeling I keep. In light of the true consequences I have avoided thus far, I actually see it as a gift of grace.
posted by michael at 8:32 AM |
Monday, October 08, 2001
CONSEQUENCES. Do I see them? Maybe its about time I stop acting as if there aren't any. While in Cambodia, someone whom I deeply respect told me that the consequences of decisions I make now, good or bad, won't be completely realized for at least 10 years. "Its unfortunate because the young have no way to comprehend this concept. You haven't really lived that long yet."
Today, the weight of her words sit heavy upon my shoulders. I feel like I am watching my own life, like some bad television show. I can almost see myself... Its dark. I light a match, enjoying the flicker of light and heat. The flame trickles lower, dangerously close to my fingers. Instead of blowing it out, I carefully take hold of the other end. Grasping the charred tip, I then turn the match upside down... letting the flame linger for just a bit longer.
posted by michael at 2:30 PM |
Sunday, October 07, 2001
DOES life imitate art? Mullholland Drive, Lynch's new film, will be released next week. This just so happens to coincide with me being officially appointed as the City Planner for the Mulholland Scenic Parkway Specific Plan.
"Its a strange world." Jeffrey ~Blue Velvet~
posted by michael at 1:29 PM |
Saturday, October 06, 2001
AMONG others, I have developed a fascination for David Lynch. What does that say about me? I'd rather not find out. It isn't as if I love everything about his films. How could anyone?
Looking back, my interest in this deviant artist started out innocently enough. Little did I know that 'Twin Peaks' would introduce me to an entirely new way of looking at film. During freshman year, I suggested my friends and I watch 'Blue Velvet'. There was only one girl in our suite with a VCR so we watched it in her dorm. Well, suffice to say that less than half way through, the girl was so bored AND offended that she stood up, stopped the tape, and kicked us all out. "This crap is horrible and I refuse to suffer through it any longer."
What's worse was that no one seemed to mind.
posted by michael at 1:20 PM |
Friday, October 05, 2001
WE were apart for only a few days, but if felt ssoooo good to be back together again. Speeding along... Coldplay in the background... it was like old times. I cannot imagine being with any other. You know, she was really my second choice. Don't get me wrong, I've always had respect and affection for her, but I was kind of into someone else at the time. Deep down, I always knew that my baby was the more practical way to go, the smarter thing to do, the right decision to make. What's so wrong with that? The sad thing is that even after I went with her, I sometimes stole a glance at the other and wondered what could have been. That has all changed. It has been about a year and a half, and I'm so glad that I went the way I did.
posted by michael at 10:56 AM |
Thursday, October 04, 2001
MOSTLY, I went to the meeting to catch up with friends. Oh, I was interested in what HOPE in the City was doing, but since my move LA, inner city ministry has slowly been slipping from my line of sight.
The presentation was impressive. I'm so proud of Kevin and Allison. This community organizing / empowerment thing has really begun to take off. There is the definite sense that they are on the verge of a breakthrough. I hope so. While it was great for me to see, I felt a bit sad too. Wasn't I once in HOPE in the City? I remember all the exciting things we did together. Now look at me. I'm more Church bureaucracy than helping hand. Fighting little political battles, putting out personality fires, desperate to hold things together... important as all that is, its not the only thing He has for me.
Kevin emphasized the "crucial" role we play as supporters. Understood. But I have sadly become tighter with my money too. What's this about sometimes "forgetting" or being "too busy" to write a check. Such crap. If I allow this overall trend to continue, something good will become nothing but theory to me, simply to be discussed in my ivory tower.
posted by michael at 8:16 AM |
Wednesday, October 03, 2001
The last leg was best described as relaxed-brother-bonding day.
While on the way back from a little Japanese market, we ran into one of Matt's highschool friends, Maggie.
We end this series with the Cham brothers masquerading as walking Calpis sponsors! Despite its unfortunate pronunciation, everyone should try it. Tasty peach and yummy lemon were good, but we still prefer the original. Cheers!
posted by michael at 8:20 AM |
Tuesday, October 02, 2001
Catching up with UCSD alums, Brian Lo and Ryan Kwok, was great as well. We swapped stories over phili-cheese-steaks and dollar Budweisers in a bar off Union Street.
 
~left~ Even good intervarsity boys like to take stupid photos. Can you find my friends inside this cardboard cut out for Orgasmic Pizza? (I know, I know, all my photos are too small.)
~right~ I was caught red handed trying to get a massage.
posted by michael at 9:46 AM |
Monday, October 01, 2001
Brenda and John were gracious enough to show us around and house me for an evening.
A few blocks from his swanky apartment (ooo i want one too!), John showed us this beautiful site. Supposedly, a scene from The Rock was filmed there. Never saw it but John loves that movie.
We also went to the top of some hills named Twin Peaks. I've seen that one, but to the best of my knowledge, this place doesn't have any relation to the show. It was wonderfully cold and foggy. We couldn't see a thing. My view consisted of Brenda and John going bonkers. BTW, we also went to a bar called named Twin Peaks too.
posted by michael at 1:18 PM |
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