Monday, April 04, 2005
COURAGE
Incidentally, I've got new shoes, a new shuffle, and a new phone on the way.
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Spent a significant amount of time organizing my music collection this weekend. It was so melancholy. From looking at the Hairy CD, /mike/CD, the mixes made by friends, and the CD's I've grabbed along the way, I felt this incredible sense of affection and loss.
I don't feel this way when I look at old pictures, but music brings up a strange emotional quality to looking back. I recognize the person I was back then and I miss his sense of purpose. This isn't a call to the good ol' days. This is a burning desire to be more of the "me of today", whoever he is.
And yesterday, Pastor Rattay preached on David and Goliath. He was pumping us up to take risks and find our courage. And I've kind of responded in my own way. I'm sick of using sloth and cynicism as an excuse. I don't want to be afraid, even if it means faking boldness as I go. I'm ready to take my lumps with a big grin because I want to get back up and punch in the face anything that's in my way.
But passion and boldness and risk taking, all these things are morally neutral aren't they. I'm annoyed at my own postmodern thoughts, but during the sermon, I started to think about the courage of the entrepreneur, the criminal, or dare I consider... the terrorist. It's not just the good guy who puts himself on the line; on the court, in the marketplace, or on the battlefield, everyone must prove his or her own mettle. The courage may be similar, but its value is different. Passion for its own sake is not good enough.
For the passion of the young always seems to be wasted by a lack of wisdom. Which cause we choose is the vital question. Wouldn't it have been better for fools to do nothing than unwittingly choose that which is wrong? So I'll continue to process my direction, waiting on conviction and depending on grace. But in the many small things (and few big things) I do know, I'm looking forward to my turn at bat.
-----
Spent a significant amount of time organizing my music collection this weekend. It was so melancholy. From looking at the Hairy CD, /mike/CD, the mixes made by friends, and the CD's I've grabbed along the way, I felt this incredible sense of affection and loss.
I don't feel this way when I look at old pictures, but music brings up a strange emotional quality to looking back. I recognize the person I was back then and I miss his sense of purpose. This isn't a call to the good ol' days. This is a burning desire to be more of the "me of today", whoever he is.
And yesterday, Pastor Rattay preached on David and Goliath. He was pumping us up to take risks and find our courage. And I've kind of responded in my own way. I'm sick of using sloth and cynicism as an excuse. I don't want to be afraid, even if it means faking boldness as I go. I'm ready to take my lumps with a big grin because I want to get back up and punch in the face anything that's in my way.
But passion and boldness and risk taking, all these things are morally neutral aren't they. I'm annoyed at my own postmodern thoughts, but during the sermon, I started to think about the courage of the entrepreneur, the criminal, or dare I consider... the terrorist. It's not just the good guy who puts himself on the line; on the court, in the marketplace, or on the battlefield, everyone must prove his or her own mettle. The courage may be similar, but its value is different. Passion for its own sake is not good enough.
For the passion of the young always seems to be wasted by a lack of wisdom. Which cause we choose is the vital question. Wouldn't it have been better for fools to do nothing than unwittingly choose that which is wrong? So I'll continue to process my direction, waiting on conviction and depending on grace. But in the many small things (and few big things) I do know, I'm looking forward to my turn at bat.
